services

My approach to therapy is integrative, relational, trauma-informed, neurodivergent-affirming, and spiritually inclusive when desired by the client. At its core, this work is about supporting people in becoming more aware of themselves, their nervous systems, and their relational patterns—so they can move through life with greater clarity, choice, and connection. I do not believe there is one correct way to be a person, heal, or be in relationship. Instead, I support people in discovering what actually works for their nervous system, identity, and lived experience.

Individual Counseling for Neurodivergent People

There is no one right way to do this work. We find what works for you, and build from there.

Relationship Counseling for Neurodivergent People

This is how your nervous system works. This is how mine works. How do we meet in the middle?

Spirituality & Therapy

There is room here for complexity, questioning, and growth.

LBTQ2SAIP+

You do not have to translate your identity into something more understandable.

Poly Couples

The more complex the structure, the more intentional and skillful the care required to hold it well.

Grief Counseling

Staying with pain without collapse, grief without avoidance, and complexity without reduction.

Attachment Therapy

Connection can be safe, even when it's imperfect.

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Explore the tabs below to learn more about each element.

Relationship counseling for neurodivergent people

I want to go into couples counseling for neurodivergent people because when I was looking for support for my long-term partner and myself, I ran into a major gap. I could find individual counseling that was neurodivergent-friendly, but I could not find couples counseling that understood neurodivergence. That didn’t make sense to me.

The Gap in Support

Neurodivergent people are in relationships. We navigate intimacy, conflict, communication, and attachment just like anyone else. But often with additional layers that required understanding, nuance, and adaptation.

And yet, the support available often stops at the individual level. Even living in Vancouver, with access to a wide range of services, I couldn’t find what I was looking for. That really stood out to me. If it is this limited in a major city, I can only imagine how difficult it must be for people in smaller or more rural communities to find appropriate support.

What I Found

What I did find were practitioners offering neurodivergent-informed individual therapy, but not extending that same awareness into relational dynamics.

I was honestly shocked. Because of course neurodivergent people are in relationships.

What Neurodivergent Relationships Need

These relationships deserve support that understands:

different communication styles
sensory needs and overwhelm
nervous system regulation differences
pacing, processing, and conflict styles
the impact of masking, burnout, and misunderstanding

Without this understanding, couples work can miss key dynamics or unintentionally pathologize differences that simply need to be understood and supported differently.

Education as Part of the Work

An important part of this work is education between partners.

This includes:

understanding each other’s neurodivergent traits
learning how those traits show up in daily life and in conflict
identifying different needs around communication, space, and regulation
developing practical coping strategies
learning tools for co-regulation and self-regulation
accessing resources, frameworks, and language that support understanding

This kind of shared education helps partners move from confusion and misinterpretation to clarity and compassion. Instead of personalizing differences, partners can begin to understand:

“this is how your nervous system works”
“this is how mine works”
“how do we meet in the middle?”

Why This Work Matters

This gap is what draws me toward this work. It’s not just about offering counseling, but about about offering relevant, informed, and accessible relational support for people who are often navigating systems that were not built with them in mind. The goal is to create spaces where neurodivergent people and their partners can:

feel understood
communicate more effectively
navigate differences with care
and build relationships that actually work for them

Relationship counseling for poly couples (Dyads aka Couples, Triads, Quads, etc.)

I offer relationship counseling for dyads, triads, quads, and other configurations, alongside individual therapy. For those who are open to it, I'm happy to combine both, working relationally and individually at the same time so the relationship work stays grounded, accountable, and integrated.

Working with Diverse Relationship Structures

I work with a wide range of relationship structures, including polycules, non-monogamy, and other alternative configurations, since many neurodivergent people are naturally drawn to relational forms that better match their nervous systems and values. I'm also open to working with clients engaged in sense play, light kink, various forms of BDSM, and rope play, including shibari.

Core values in This Work

My approach is grounded in the believe that there's no one right way to structure a relationship. What matters is that it's consensual, safe, mutually supportive, and rooted in listening and respect. The more complex the structure, the more intentional the communication and care it takes to hold it well.

My Role in This Work

My role is to help create space for deeper understanding between partners or group members, learning and strengthening relationship skills, and unlearning patterns that may no longer support connection or well-being.

This work isn't about telling people what their relationships should look like. It's about supporting what's already unfolding between them, so that whether you're in a dyad, triad, quad, or something else entirely, your relationship can become more honest, more resourced, and better able to hold complexity without losing connection.

Individual Counseling for Neurodivergent People

I will be offering a range of neurodivergent-friendly session formats, recognizing that traditional therapy models don’t work for everyone.

Options include:

Walk and talk sessions
Sand tray / sand play
Starting sessions with a tarot card, oracle card, or reflection on planetary shifts
Sessions over Gong Fu Cha (a social tea practice from an open Chinese lineage)
Access to a large variety of fidgets during sessions

These will be offered as Zoom sessions, phone sessions, and/or in-person sessions at my East Vancouver studio. The goal is to create an environment that supports regulation, comfort, expression, and authentic engagement.

The Studio Space: Smoke Rings

In my East Vancouver studio, there is a large-scale interactive textile installation I created between 2005–2010 called Smoke Rings. The piece consists of 16 stuffed rings, ranging from 3 feet to 7 feet in diameter, and occupying a space of approximately 5.5 x 5 x 4 feet.

You are welcome to take off your shoes and climb, sit, or settle into the Smoke Rings during your session.

The Impact of the Space

I’ve found that this installation has a very specific effect on people.

It tends to lower defenses, soften guardedness, and create a sense of openness.

People often find themselves sharing more freely, sometimes unexpectedly.

Interestingly, the sculpture itself resembles something organic, almost like internal forms. Like guts, but rendered in soft white yarn. At the same time, it carries a cloud-like, contained, and immersive quality. It creates a space that is both grounding and slightly disarming.

Studio Guidelines

When this piece was exhibited, participants were asked to remove their shoes, set aside food and drinks, and wear white Tyvek suits.

In the therapy space, you will still be asked to remove your shoes and be mindful of the space. You will not be required to wear a Tyvek suit, but if that experience appeals to you, they are available.

Intention

All of these offerings are designed with one intention: to create a space where you can feel more like yourself, access different ways of processing, and engage in therapy in a way that actually works for your nervous system.

There is no one right way to do this work. We find what works for you, and build from there.

Spirituality & Therapy

I am also a pagan, and I value supporting people in bringing their spiritual lives into the therapy space. For many people, spirituality is not separate from their psychology. Rather, spirituality is woven into meaning-making, identity, healing, and how they understand their life experiences. Because of this, I welcome and support the integration of spiritual practices, beliefs, and frameworks within therapy.

Transpersonal Psychology Influence

Part of my training through Embodied Awareness was rooted in transpersonal psychology. Transpersonal psychology views spirituality as an integrated part of the psyche, rather than something separate from it. It recognizes that healing can happen not only through cognitive and emotional processing, but also through altered or meditative states, symbolic and archetypal work, and connection to something larger than the individual self.

In some approaches, trauma work can include spiritual or trance-based states, which can be deeply effective for certain people, especially those who already have a strong spiritual orientation. This creates additional pathways for healing that go beyond traditional talk therapy.

My Spiritual Background

I am also an ex-Christian, and that background continues to inform my work.

When I was a Christian, I was part of a theological movement called Arminianism (often confused with “Armenianism”), which centers on free will, relational connection with God, and personal responsibility in one’s spiritual life. For those familiar with theology, this is in contrast to Calvinism, which emphasizes predestination.

Within Christianity, I identified as a mystic, and was drawn to contemplative and experiential practices. I engaged deeply with the writings of Thomas Merton, Brother Lawrence, and other contemplative thinkers. I also practiced silent meditation, listening prayer, contemplative stillness. Many of these practices continue to influence how I relate to presence, awareness, and inner experience today.

Working With Spiritual Trauma

Because of my background, I often find that people with spiritual or religious trauma are drawn to work with me. I understand, from lived experience, the complexity of leaving a faith system, reconstructing belief. navigating identity shifts. and processing harm that may have occurred within spiritual communities.

This allows me to hold space for grief, anger, confusion, and rebuilding, without pathologizing spirituality itself.

Quaker Practice

Alongside being a pagan, I am also a practicing Quaker.

Quaker practice is rooted in silence, deep listening, and shared reflection. We gather, either in person or on Zoom, and sit together in silence for about an hour. During that time, each person meditates or listens inwardly. If something arises that feels meaningful to share, they reflect on it, then stand, speak briefly, and sit back down. After someone shares, the group returns to silence, allowing space for the words to land and be integrated. This practice deeply informs how I approach listening, pacing, and allowing insight to emerge organically.

Integrating Spirituality Into Therapy

In my practice, spirituality can be included in ways that feel aligned for you.

This might look like incorporating spiritual language or frameworks, engaging in contemplative or meditative practices, exploring meaning, purpose, and connection, or working through spiritual trauma or transition.

It can also include more applied or symbolic practices, such as:

pulling a tarot or oracle card at the beginning of a session to help frame themes
looking at aspects of your astrology chart to explore deeper relational or attachment patterns
using archetypal or symbolic systems as a way to access insight and reflection

These tools are not used predictively, but reflectively, as ways to open conversation, access subconscious material, and/or bring language to internal experiences. They can help create entry points into conversations that might otherwise feel abstract, difficult to access, or hard to articulate.

Or, spirituality may not be part of your therapy at all. This is always client-led, and we only move in directions that feel supportive, relevant, and grounded for you.

Final Note

Spirituality can be a powerful resource in healing, but it can also be a site of wounding.

My role is not to direct your beliefs, but to support your exploration, hold space for your experiences, and integrate spirituality, if desired, in a way that supports your overall well-being. There is room here for complexity, questioning, and growth.

Identity & Transparency

For transparency, I identify as non-binary, queer, pansexual, demisexual, and ambiamorous. Ambiamory describes someone who is comfortable and fulfilled in either monogamous or polyamorous relationship structures. It means I do not need polyamory in order to feel authentic, but I do appreciate and enjoy the possibility of multiple relationships, and I remain open to them when circumstances, consent, and relational dynamics align.

Working Within Queer & Trans Communities

I hold a deep care for the queer and trans experience, in part because it is my own lived experience. This shapes how I understand and support identity exploration and development, relational structures outside of normative expectations. the impact of marginalization, invisibility, or misunderstanding. and the importance of being seen without having to over-explain or justify oneself.

In my other practices, many of my clients naturally fall within queer and trans communities. This has supported a deep familiarity with diverse identities and expressions, non-traditional relationship structures, and the complexity of navigating systems not designed with these experiences in mind.

Identity Work in Individual and Relational Therapy

In both individual and relational counseling (whether working with dyads (couples), triads, quads, or other relational constellations), we can also engage in identity-based exploration and relational meaning-making.

This can include:

exploring identity differences within relationships
demystifying misunderstandings that arise from differing lived experiences
unpacking how identity shapes communication, needs, and attachment patterns
and supporting each person in feeling understood within the relationship system

This work may involve both queer identities and neurodivergent identities, as well as the intersection between them. It can also include emotional processing around identity differences, psychoeducation about neurodivergence, attachment, or relational dynamics, sharing practical tools, frameworks, and resources, and supporting partners or groups in developing language for experiences that may have previously felt difficult to articulate.

The intention is not to force sameness, but to build understanding, clarity, and relational capacity across difference.

Creating Affirming Space

In my counseling work, my intention is to offer a space that is affirming, informed by lived and professional experience, non-pathologizing, and rooted in respect and relational safety.

A space where you do not have to translate your identity into something more understandable, educate your therapist about basic aspects of your experience, or reduce your complexity in order to be supported.

Final Note

While I have a strong connection to queer and trans communities, this work is open to anyone. At the same time, if you are queer, trans, neurodivergent, or exploring your identity, there is space here for your full complexity held with care, familiarity, and respect.

Personal Context, Grief, and Clinical Orientation

Growing up, my sister had cancer. Later in life, her child also had cancer. Now my mother has cancer. My sister and her child both survived. My mother will not survive hers.

These experiences have shaped my long-term relationship with grief, uncertainty, and loss within close family systems. They are not abstract concepts for me—they are lived and ongoing realities.

Early Adult Relationship Experience

I was married as a young Christian to the first person I ever fell in love with and slept with.

We were together for 7.5 years and divorced just before I turned 30. That experience was deeply destabilizing and emotionally devastating for me at the time, and it marked a significant relational and identity shift in my life.

Neurodivergence and Diagnosis in Midlife

At age 45, I received full diagnostic clarification, including:

Autism
ADHD
OCD
Bipolar Disorder (rapid cycling)
Panic Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Social Anxiety Disorder

I am currently medicated for all applicable conditions except Autism, as there is no medication for Autism itself. I am also hard of hearing (approximately 50% deaf).

Reflections on Late Diagnosis

There has been significant grief in looking back across my life and recognizing how long I struggled without appropriate identification, support, or treatment. In hindsight, many of my challenges were misunderstood, misattributed, or not adequately supported.

There is a particular kind of grief in realizing how much suffering might have been preventable, or at least significantly reduced, with earlier understanding and care.

At the same time, this history has given me a deep lived understanding of overwhelm, misattunement, masking and survival strategies, and long-term resilience under chronic stress.

Clinical Orientation and Capacity for Grief Work

Because of my lived experience, I am very comfortable working with grief and loss.

This includes death and dying, chronic illness, relational loss and rupture, identity transitions, and cumulative or layered grief.

I am not easily overwhelmed or destabilized by hearing about difficult life experiences. I am able to remain present and regulated while holding space for emotional intensity and complexity.

My orientation is toward supporting depth, building containers, and emotional honesty

without rushing, minimizing, or turning away from what is difficult.

My lived experience has shaped both my personal capacity and my clinical presence.

It has taught me how to stay with pain without collapse, grief without avoidance, and complexity without reduction. This informs how I work with others, not just as something separate from my training, but as part of the foundation of how I understand and hold human experience.

Therapy for Attachment Issues

Attachment-based therapy focuses on how we form, maintain, and experience emotional bonds in relationships, both early in life and in present-day connections. It is rooted in the understanding that many of our relational patterns are not random or “personality traits,” but adaptive strategies shaped by early relational environments. These patterns can show up in adulthood as recurring challenges in intimacy, communication, trust, autonomy, and emotional regulation.

Understanding Attachment in Therapy

In attachment-focused work, we look at how early relational experiences may have shaped how safe closeness feels, how conflict is experienced and managed, how needs are expressed (or suppressed), how abandonment or rejection is interpreted, and how independence and dependency are balanced.

These patterns are often not conscious choices. They are nervous system responses that were learned in relationship and continue to operate in relationship. In therapy, we begin to gently make these patterns visible so they can be understood rather than automatically acted out.

Common Attachment Patterns in Present-Day Life

Attachment-related challenges may show up as:

anxiety in relationships when connection feels uncertain
withdrawal or emotional shutdown when closeness increases
fear of abandonment or rejection
difficulty trusting stability even when it is present
people-pleasing or over-functioning in relationships
discomfort with emotional dependency or vulnerability
cycles of closeness followed by distancing or rupture
heightened sensitivity to tone, silence, or perceived disconnection

These are not “problems to fix” in a simplistic sense. They are protective strategies that once served a purpose, even if they are now creating distress or disconnection.

How Attachment Work Happens in Therapy

Attachment-focused therapy is both insight-based and experiential. It involves understanding patterns intellectually while also working with the nervous system and lived relational experience.

This may include:

identifying attachment patterns as they arise in real time
tracking triggers, activation, and projection
learning to differentiate present reality from past emotional memory
developing regulation skills for moments of relational intensity
practicing clearer, more direct communication of needs
working through relational rupture and repair
and slowly building new experiences of safety in connection

The emphasis is not on eliminating attachment responses, but on increasing awareness, flexibility, and choice within them.

Nervous System and Emotional Regulation

Attachment patterns are deeply connected to nervous system responses such as activation (fight/flight), shutdown (freeze), emotional flooding, or disconnection/numbing. A key part of this work is learning how to recognize these states early and respond differently, rather than reacting automatically from them.

This often includes developing the ability to pause before responding, self-soothe during activation, communicate while emotionally activated without escalation, and return to connection after rupture. Over time, this builds internal and relational stability.

Relational Repair and Healing Through Relationship

Attachment healing does not happen only through insight, it happens through relational experience over time.

In therapy, this may involve:

noticing and naming attachment dynamics as they arise
working through misunderstandings or emotional ruptures
practicing repair after conflict
and experiencing consistent, safe relational engagement

Healing occurs when new experiences begin to challenge old expectations such as:

“I will be abandoned if I express needs”
“Conflict means disconnection”
“Closeness is unsafe”
or “I have to manage everything alone”

These beliefs soften through repeated, regulated relational experiences.

Neurodivergence and Attachment

For neurodivergent individuals, attachment patterns may be shaped not only by early relational experiences, but also by:

sensory overwhelm in relationships
differences in communication processing speed or style
emotional regulation differences
masking and social adaptation strategies
and experiences of being misunderstood or pathologized

Attachment work in this context is adapted to include neurodivergent-affirming frameworks, rather than assuming a single relational norm.

Working With Couples and Relational Systems

Attachment-based therapy can also involve working with couples (dyads), triads, quads, and polyamorous or polycule systems. In relational work, we look at:

how attachment patterns interact between people
how cycles of pursuit, withdrawal, or shutdown form
how misattunements escalate into conflict or disconnection
and how repair can be developed and strengthened over time

The goal is not to assign blame, but to understand the system that is being created between people.

Integration and Ongoing Support

Attachment work often continues beyond individual sessions through reflection, practice, and additional learning. As part of this process, I also offer courses on attachment as additional resources for clients who want to deepen their understanding outside of therapy. These courses can support:

recognizing attachment patterns more clearly
understanding nervous system responses
learning practical tools for regulation and communication
and integrating insights over time between sessions

They are designed as a complement to therapy, not a replacement for it.

Final Note

Attachment work is ultimately about learning new ways of being in relationship with yourself and others. It is not about becoming perfectly secure or eliminating emotional activation. It is about building the capacity to:

notice what is happening internally and relationally
stay present through discomfort without escalation or shutdown
communicate needs with greater clarity
and repair connection when it is disrupted

Over time, this creates relationships that are more stable, more honest, and more able to hold complexity without collapse. At its core, attachment therapy is about developing the experience that connection can be safe, even when it is imperfect.

Services

Sign Up for Heidi's Waitlist & Newsletter

Explore the tabs below to learn more about each element.

Relationship counseling for neurodivergent people

The Gap in Support

What I Found

What Neurodivergent Relationships Need

Education as Part of the Work

Why This Work Matters

Sign Up for
Heidi's Waitlist & Newsletter